#H50 – Season opener through the eyes of Kangaroo Quack

While we are taking a break and the Koala Smartass is still at large, we got a visit from the ‘cousin’ Kangaroo Quack and she offered to give us her raw first thoughts about the season opener. Her spelling and grammar and memory is not very good. She just jots down what she thinks – so here is her thoughts about last night’s Hawaii Five-0 S08E01

Opening scene: We see happy Hawaii and some sort of pool lifeguard trying to control some rich kids around the pool.

Our two Five-0 knights come to save her from her misery – with a proposition of some undercover work on campus to catch a hacker dude.  She says no – and I would also say no, because it is not as if they offer her some permanent job or something. She does not look like a one night stand type of girl.

Danny immediately identifies with her, because he knows how it feels to be harassed by young kids on vacation.

But Steve plays hardball and tells her she does not really have a choice ….. And he tells her that he knows that she is a broken toy.  And we all know he likes to fix broken toys. And he even boost about the one toy he fixed so well that he moved to San Francisco to be the task-boss there ….

Next thing, together with some annoying music, we see an older balder “Eric” eye-sexting some young chicks on campus. He taps on his computer while trying to look mean – and oops, alarms go of in Halawa prison when a cell is opened …..  Cell F5 – so that is what F5 stands for on my keyboard?

The guards are locked in and mean arsonist Duclair emerges from the cell. And as he walks, more doors open up and without the guards being able to stop him he can walk straight out of the prison door into the “light”. My first thought – “Is he going to heaven?”

But I get no answer because the “Happy” Five-0  song is playing and they show lots of new faces with the song. Some “new” but not so new and one really new one that we just saw by the pool – so I guess the job offer was more permanent than what Steve let on. We see happy Hawaii again and new girl rides her scooter somewhere (or is it Jerry’s scooter?) All I can think of is that she (Kono 2.0) upgraded from Kono riding an ordinary bicycle – or maybe Jerry upgraded and she is now driving his old scooter? We know she is home, because they tell us that on screen. At home there’s a young dude playing video games. Boyfriend or brother? She unplug him because he is rude and does not want to answer her question. – Mystery solved, he calls he sis and walks out.

Next we are in China town in a place with lots and lots of arches (just like the many arcs of Five-0) and the short knight is waving his arms around and telling the tall knight to look. He gets so excited he even jogs around to show off his BIG kitchen. And the short knight basically goes on his knees to propose to the tall knight. It is so romantic …. But Steve is not convinced. He does not want to get so serious yet – maybe 7 years of romancing is not enough for such a commitment?. But Danny keeps flapping his arms around and begging Steve in a crying voice, that this will be fun. Neither I nor Steve seem convinced!

Steve scratches his head and says he is flattered with the proposal, but says it is not his dream – Neither is it mine …. Never been so happy before to hear Steve’s phone ring and save the moment.

Next the team is commiserating around the magic table about how Duclair walked right out of prison with the help of some world-class hacking. Eric runs in and he is not older or balder – so that means dude on campus must have been a brother and not him aging during hiatus – but oops, it’s not HIS brother (He’s a Jonas brother, it seems, (W)right) ?),

And big dude Grover is immediately pissed about the guy who kidnapped his daughter 4 years ago, because he was also a brother, (W)right.

And Steve still asks questions, and like an answer from the heavens the bald “brother” starts talking to them …. through their big TV’s on the wall. And he tells them that he is not from heaven, but from hell.

Next we see Duclair walk into a burnt place, looking mad because he did not start it. Somebody might be pissing on his parade again. He is there with some Asian guys who look like they want answers from him. And he is sniffing and tasting and touching and rubbing everything to get that answer ….

Grover and Jerry find some answers about bald dude (Aaron Wright) – He thinks he is some sort of Vampire detective and travels under the name Mick St John. And Alex keeps  a straight face and all the fan girls scream with pleasure at the thought of  ‘Magic Mick’.

Steve is pissed and he kicks down hotel room doors – he could have asked for it to be opened I guess? And again the computer is talking to him … And I am starting to get just as confused  as our two knights now, because apparently we are looking for Waldo now … but apparently he is very busy.

And again like in the pilot episode somebody knows that Steve’s phone is going to ring before it rings – and Duclair is starting fires and killing people it seems .

Some dude is deadly burned and Kimmy (sorry, but in my mind Noelani is Kimmy) says he died of smoke inhalation because he could not move on account of the bullets in his knee caps. And Grover whispers to the crispy corps dude …. And the fire-fighter guy who looks nothing like my fire-fighter calendar guys,  says that it is all too messy to be Duclair.

And Kimmy is very good, because she easily identifies the burned body right there on site. He is a dude who likes to start fires himself ….. Apparently this dude burned down a drug lord’s house and all his merchandise. And the drug lord got Duclair  out to tell him who did it etc ….

They storm the drug lord’s other house and somebody overcooked the dudes there as well – the team members must be kind of psychic because without Kimmy, they decide that it is the Lord Randy and his sons. They gave Duclair a taste of fire and now he can’t stop himself. But Duclair is not very grateful to those who set him free – he is scared they will have him captured again so that is why he crisped them  – well that is Steve’s theory in any case.

Oops, next thing we see Bald Mick being “gasolined” by Duclair – the door gets a knock and in walks “new” girl. She must have taken Steve’s offer? And she jumps Randy … I mean Duclair. And when I say jump, I mean really jumps him. And once again the knights save her from herself – twice in one episode now I guess.  And it seems the girl has a mind of her own and visited Dude Mick on her own, without them knowing she is doing it. How she got the info about who he was and where he is, only she knows – she must be good!

And Duclair runs and locks himself in the closet and Danny tries to kick the door open  like Steve does, but it does not work and Grover shoots it open …. Just to see Duclair running. And Grover stays with bald dude and thinks his is in Chicago now, because he hits the guy without any reason other than a big mouth.

And the new girl already does not listen to Steve – People were scared she will be Kono 2.0 but it seems like she is Danny 2.0. – Disobeying Steve, But Danny gets confused and thinks she is like Steve??

And apparently she runs faster that both the knights – And Randy throws his stunt double out of a red Mustang and drives off. And they track the Mustang and the boys are chasing him with the Camaro …. And new girl wants Steve to go faster … oh boy, daddy’s gonna enjoy this ride?

And for some reason The Camaro and Grover’s trucks are faster than the Mustang and they caught up with him just to see him park next to the forest and run again …..

And just like that all FOYeur’s  wishes of the last 5 Seasons are granted and Steve strips for the new girl – but they immediately kill the moment when they have all the time in the world to debate about whether or not to give her a gun?

And Steve is in a tracker mood and he sniffs like Mick now? And all the fangirls faint! But it is the forest that is on fire ……

And Kamekona ( who is main cast now) and Nahele get some screen time and hear the news of Armageddon and they see the smoke – and I am not sure if Kamekona wants to help them, or make money from the fire-fighters?

And suddenly Steve sniffs out Duclair? How, I guess we will never know. And Paul and Randy, and Randy and Alex, all grapple a bit  and slap each other around. And Steve does not want to let go of his toy, but new girl seems to get the fact that they are surrounded by fire and shoots Duclair in the knee ….

And we see the start of a new series – Hawaii-Fire coming to your screens soon?

And Duke is directing pedestrians …. (Because he is also main cast now I guess)

And Steve finds ‘little house in the fire‘ and maybe they can hide from the fire there? And Danny needs to know right now from  Steve how long they will live, and he says that luckily they will suffocate before they burn. And we all need to stay low and wet … and my mind is in the gutter.

And Duke must have been in Danny’s company too long, because he is waving his arms ….

And Duclair gets all randy and poetic about fires and how it is torturing Steve – but he does not know Steve is a super-duper hero and he signed a contract till the end of the season … And Grover is back in Chicago and whacks Duclair again with a bowl. (And I think of ‘blind’ Sang Min)

And Steve thinks a person in a helicopter will see him through the smoke and hear him screaming about all the noise around them? And Randy breaks free and must have forgotten that he is shot in the knee by new girl, because he runs fast. And Danny needs to go and do some target practise because he can’t even shoot wounded Duclair running away?

And just as the new girl starts thinking that she should have stayed at the pool,  we hear a helicopter – And it is STEVE. And he must have stolen a helicopter somewhere …..  And they all argue about  who should be saved first and Steve remembers that he watched UP with Alex’s kids last weekend and that houses can fly – he’s not only going to save them all, but the cabin as well and save the owner some insurance claim? And my first thought is that WoFat’s claw escape was nothing compared to this?

And they declare Duclair dead on the news …

And Tani sits on her porch (Well, actually just front steps). Why I don’t know? And Danny drives his own car to visit her …. And gives her a pep talk about working with Steve to make us feel all fuzzy. And we see how Scott’s stand-in actor chats with Meaghan and tells her about Grace hunting sex traffickers on the mainland.

And next thing Grover takes his daughter to see a blue movie – I mean enter the blue room with a gagged bald “Mick”. And he lives out some sort of S & M fantasy ….

And we are back in the place with the many arches and I can hear a lot of blah, blah blah – but there is nothing to hear because beaten up Alex looks sexy and I cannot stop looking at his gorgeous face and think that this is why I am here watching this show, to see him be all sexy and do his thing ….


Filed under Hawaii Five-0

34 responses to “#H50 – Season opener through the eyes of Kangaroo Quack

  1. gracenotpark

    Sigh. Happy to hear from y’all…in any animal form. 😉

    Show…um…well, Show was Show. No longer at its best. But it still has Alex in it. That’s about it for Show.

    Be well, girls. We love you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cassandra

    I was okay with the show until the rescuing in the house. Lifting the house? Really?Seriously???? That was a bit over the top!!!
    On the other hand it was great, actually perfect seeing Alex, my main focus!!😍😍
    Also, I like Tani very much and I think she’s going to work out fine!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mamayorkie

    This is just hilarious. I thought is was only me who kept questioning every scene because this was the Season opener and it had to be spectacular. Or at least, our leader led us to believe we would be amazed. OK, I was amazed that the cast didn’t throw the script into the fire.

    But Alex took off his shirt (for no apparent reason other than a gift to the fan girls) and I was not offended in the least. I am shallow. I should be embarrassed but I am not.

    Many thanks Kangaroo Quack.

    Liked by 1 person

    • To be honest, I am not yet over the fact that Steve was doing parkour stunts after liver transpalnt in the season opener last year – so the house lifting kind of did not hit me as hard as I thought.
      I definitely won’t mind shallow shirless scenes – I guess that is what will get me through the season.


  4. Barbara Jacobellis

    Thanks for your synopsis, especially “houses can fly” comment — your writing is hilarious — love it ❤❤👍

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Regina Filange

    Just finished watching the episode. I agree with comments made in a previous post that our tantalizing leading man has thinned out a little, he still looks fabulous though. I loved that they had him stripping down for us already.😋❤️.

    The episode was well…better than the opening of season six with the pirate treasure. First impression is Tani, I think she could be a little like our fearless leader. I think I might like her. I’ll be interested to see how the season pans out with her, Adam and McG’s seal friend. The whole house lifting scene was kind of umm… stupid. I definitely would have liked it better if Steve would have just lifted them out from the straps not with them in the house. It would have been more believable.

    I think we may see more from the hacker but only time will tell. I love that his name was Mick St. John. I have to wonder what Alex’s reaction was when he read the script and saw that name.

    It was weird not to see Chin and Kono but I’m glad that they at least mentioned them and that they are still in law enforcement. Although I have to wonder what the story is with Adam and Kono when he’s finally brought on as a permanent member of the cast.

    I’m strapped in for the wild ride with hopefully more shirtless Alex. Bring him on!😋❤️😘😍

    Liked by 1 person

  6. DoubleL

    All I could think (in between laughter) during the lifting scene was “and people thought the claw was stupid!” New girl has too much ‘tude and of course she’s an ass kicking MMA fighter. She couldn’t be anything else! At least we finally got to see Steve change into the T-shirt! Wasn’t the animated bit supposed to be in this episode?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maybe they thought one cartoon reference per episode is enough. ‘UP’ already happened in this episode, so the drawing will come next week maybe?


      • mamayorkie

        “It really was no miracle. What happened was just this.
        The wind began to switch – the house to pitch and suddenly
        the hinges started to unhitch.”

        They went to Munchin Land for inspiration! Instead of a Comic Book!. See, there is growth in the writers room. We can let them graduate from eight grade and l enter High School this year. Maybe.

        Liked by 2 people

  7. This episode was just what I have come to expect of H50. You need to suspend disbelief and just watch hopefully to be entertained. The ONLY reason I watch at this point is Alex who, to me, looked thin and unusually tired for a first episode. I’ve just about given up on McRoll which was the other reason I watched. They lost me when they lifted the house. I mean seriously? I think the EP at times thinks he is producing MacGyver instead of H50. I feel that the show has lost its way and I find that so sad. New ideas seem to be hard to come by. Tani is Kono2, nothing original there. I hope they give us more of the old H50 as the season goes on or I am convinced this will be their last year. At this point I wonder if they even care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • From the sound of it, it looks like Tani will be a combination of Kono and Cath, without the sleeping with Steve part from Cath.
      Cath grew up in an army house – so did Tani. Will be interesting to see if they explore that a bit more.


  8. D. Havard

    Snort! You made my day.

    Like Tani. When she shot the guy, Steve looked like a puppy that had his toy taken away.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ally

      Yeah, I did like that part. It was like, “Hey, I don’t know if any of you men noticed this but we’re in a forest engulfed in flames. We really don’t have time for this!”

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Glad to see you back ladies, but how sad yr comments are. Have started to watch S7 and it’s weak, but S8 sounds worse. Oh, dear, dear Alex!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. L.Carter

    Great update on show. Hilarious! OK episode, I’ve seen many better epi than this opener though, kind of disappointed! Hope season gets better. Thanks for jotting down comments.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ally

    Always glad to hear your thoughts Foyeur. It’s always good to see anything you and Paula post, but as always I wish you both the best. Take care of yourselves. The show was pretty much what I expected for this season and what I have come to expect it to be. I was disappointed with myself in the first scene with Tani, Steve, and Danny when I realized I didn’t really care that Chin and Kono were gone. I’ve watched this show since day 1 and it surprised me. I won’t bother to mention the house scene or the upcoming cartoon scene. I’ll take that over creepy Jack Lord from last season’s opener. I loved the end when the camera panned up at Steve. I thought damn that man is handsome, he’s thinner but he looks damn good. I imagine less weight is easier on his back, that’s fine with me. I did realize right at the moment of this scene, I really do watch this only to see AOL. I can live with that. At least he’ll be able to send his kids to good schools and enjoy retirement someday. One of these days maybe he’ll be like some of the other actors and venture into other areas of entertainment, taking acting roles that allow him to exercise his creativity and abilities. Wishing him luck, good health, and happiness as well as all the posters on this board!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. lindae5o

    Except for the Wizard of Oz moment, the episode wasn’t too bad, even with all the CGI. The brief topless scene with Steve, was welcome.
    The indirect revenge scene with Grover, his daughter, and Aaron Wright, was just weird, I thought.
    I think Tani will be a good character, but I hope they don’t write a lot of conflict between her and Steve. She needs to remember that he is the boss. Steve gets enough opposition from Danny.
    I didn’t miss Kono and Chin.

    Thank you for the post. I’m glad to see you ladies back, and I hope there will be more.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I loved this episode actually. I thought the explanations for Chin and Kono were spot on, I mean you knew it was coming because of how last season ended and knowing the actors were not returning. I liked “sensitive” Danny and of course I loved the over the topness of the flying house and bringing back a familiar villain.
    I did a double take when I heard Mick St. John, I thought that was awesome.
    I wasn’t expecting to like it without Chin and Kono but I thought they did a good job and I like Tani. Maybe there is hope for this season but…..

    Liked by 1 person

  14. kathysr

    I just watched the season premiere for the second time and really enjoyed it. I didn’t miss Chin or Kono either, and the explanations for their absence were done in a loving and respectful manner which honored the characters. I like slender Steve; he’s even sexier when he’s slender. Hopefully we’ll get lots of scenes of wet, swimming, gorgeous, sexy Steve with his new best buddy, McWoof.

    I like Tani a lot. She’ll have to learn her place and Steve will have to read her the riot act until she learns to respect him and follows his orders. But, lol, she’s just like him! She’s a female Steve! So he’s got to admire her for that. He has to see a little of himself in her.

    lol, the cabin, we won’t even talk about that. Somehow, I just don’t think a helicopter could actually pick up and transport an entire house, but, hey, what do I know? I was fascinated by the CGI fire. Quite astonishing special effects and I really did feel like everyone was trapped in the middle of a gigantic forest fire and I was there, too. Frighteningly real.

    When Danny talked with Tani, his description of how Steve appears in everyone’s lives just when they need him and that he’s the most loyal and true friend on the planet touched me. Danny loves, respects and admires Steve. That’s how he really feels about his partner, no matter how much he may bicker and argue with him. That was a really sweet, emotional scene for me. There’s a special bond between Danny and Tani.

    So, I liked it! I looked up the ratings. The show got 8.49 million viewers. Not great, but OK, and not bad at all considering all the trauma of two major cast members leaving just a few months ago.

    So, I’m in for the ride! Bring it on, Season Eight.


    • Sunny2

      “”When Danny talked with Tani, his description of how Steve appears in everyone’s lives just when they need him and that he’s the most loyal and true friend on the planet touched me. Danny loves, respects and admires Steve. That’s how he really feels about his partner, no matter how much he may bicker and argue with him. That was a really sweet, emotional scene for me. “”

      This is exactly what I felt watching!
      I was well entertained, although some things felt over the line of reality ( lifting the cabin, dropping the phone out of the heli and Danny catching it on spot…) . But Hey, it is H50! So strange things are possible!
      Thank you for posting! Glad you are still here!


      • Yeah the speech to Tani was really nice.
        And it would be even nicer if he for once would say something like that to Steve in person. So that Steve just once hears something different than whining, complaining, insulting. He couldn’t even ask Steve in a nice and friendly way to be his partner in the meatball business. That is sad.


  15. AudreyD.

    The first thing I noticed was the guy had registered at Mick St. John and Alex had a slight smirk on him face, through it passed quickly.
    I also like Danny’s reference to Elvis, he’s done that a couple of times ove the 7 years. Not sure if any of your know this, but Scott’s Mom Sheila, used to date Elvis way before she met James Caan.
    Also the only thing that perplelxled me, is how can the pilot in a helicopter making all kinds of noise, along with the whooshing of the fire, hear Steve call out. Next thing you see is Steve flying the helicopter and saving the day. It was a bit far-fetched, but enjoyable just the same.



  16. AudreyD.

    I did forget to mention Tani, I think she is an awesome addition to the show. She bright, has he own way f doing things, which would be a Kono thing.
    I cheered when they were trying to talk to the crook and she shot him in the knees. I was surprised how well he walked after. I think they forgot to tell him he’s supposed to limp. 😂


  17. Cali

    Ohaha Casting on FB…

    Ohana Casting
    · Yesterday ·

    Don’t forget to Tune in TONIGHT For Season 8’s Premier! Also we are actually looking for a PHOTO DOUBLE for our Hero McGarrett! You just need to have a flexible enough schedule to work with us from time to time pretending to be the man himself;) If you have ever been told you look like Alex please submit a recent photo, your current height and weight, and phone number to fiveocasting@gmail.com (that’s the letter “o”) Please submit ASAP, you could be working as early as this Sunday!


  18. Carol Roscoe

    I have just two things. 1. No whining from Danny, and 2. Why didn’t they finish the story from 7.25, Sex Trafficing It didn’t continue from then.
    I love the episode having the restraunt is a good idea for them be partners in it. The conversation he has with Tani was great it tells you how much Danny admires Steve.


  19. OMG!!! FOYeur. Kangaroo Quack is a keeper. Freaking hilarious!
    You Ladies outdid yourselves again. So so funny!
    So I just watched the season openener and I loved it! Really. I did. Exciting, funny and highly entertaining. I did not like the usual suspect at all, I can no longer listen to him for more then 2 seconds. Hope he would get rid of the chewing gum. And I found the fight between Tani and Duclair absolutely ridiculous. This superwomen stuff is grating on my nerves.
    I loved it that Steve was in charge from the get go. He knew it wasn’t Duclair who burned the house, he can kick down doors, knows in which direction to move in a fire and absofreakinglutely saved the day. Hope he sends his partners to the shooting range the next days.
    About the ‘UP’ moment: Actually I’ve seen something like that in the mountains at least two times. A helicopter was flying with a wooden cabin “in tow”. So it wasn’t so far fetched for me. It is possible.
    And because it is totally important when you are in the fangirl business I need to be shallow. Steve looked stunning, sexy as hell. And these green pants, and the twitch, did you all notice The Twitch? McTwitch. I am shipping McTwitch now. I need a video with this twitch and Alex saying “Twitch twitch” in the same rhythm.



  20. Jai-Jai

    Just got done watching the season opener, and I can honestly say I enjoyed it as much as I thought I would.

    From what I’ve seen of Tani so far, I already love her – the whole ‘I’m done with this shit’ shooting of Duclair was such a Steve move, it was so funny seeing it come from someone other than Steve for a change. And the look on Steve’s face! Priceless. I’m sure if he could have said “What the actual fuck?!”, he would have. (If I was writing the episode, he would have said precisely that). Overall, I felt Tani had a good introduction to the show, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of her.

    Definitely agree with Danny; so far Tani is the female version of Steve – which could be good or bad. Poor Danny may have his hands full with double-insanity of Steve and Tani; one McG is bat-shit crazy enough, nevermind Double-Trouble. It may make him consider retiring early lol. On the other hand, it will be interesting to see how Steve handles having someone else on the team that pulls crazy stunts and does whatever they like. What will he do with being confronted by his own behavior coming from a subordinate? Will she keep challenging him or will she settle in eventually? Might it result in him having any “am I as big a pain in the ass to work with as she is?!?” moments….? At least on that last one, I doubt it though cuz let’s face it, he’s just not that self aware.

    I liked the way Kono & Chin’s absences were spoken of, respectful and honoring two characters who have been a vital part of the team for many years, not to mention loved by fans for just as long. I thought I would feel their absence more…. but in this episode, I didn’t as there was enough going on to keep me entertained without them. Time will tell on the rest of the season, though.

    Danny, Danny. What can I say! He seemed much ‘lighter’ than his usual self, which was good to see. Are we finally going to see some personal growth from Oscar the Grouch on the panic/negative/whiny side? A gradual move into a more chilled-out and positive Danny? I’d certainly love to see that. Danny’s words to Tani about Steve kinda made me go ‘awww bless’. We mostly get to see/hear him ranting over Steve’s lunatic behavior even though it often comes from a place of concern – the way he described Steve with an almost-reverence for how good of a man/friend he is rather than his usual acerbic snark and mental-health put-downs was long over-due. (Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always adored Danny and his sarcasm and the way Steve just deliberately pushes his buttons almost like he *likes* getting snarked at. That said, there have been occasions over the years where I’ve wanted to reach inside my TV, slap Danny around the head and yell at him that, – hey, sometimes you have to chip away at the roughness on the exterior before you find the gem hidden under the surface, Steve isn’t actually an asshole, he’s just…..got issues and never had anyone stick around long enough to help him deal). It was great to finally hear Danny say out loud, what he really thinks about Steve, and the quality of friendship he is capable of.

    I saved the best ’til last – Shirtless Steve – WHOO-HOO!!! – but I blinked and nearly missed it, it happened so fast! I suppose I could forgive him for changing shirts so damn quickly given they were all supposed to be surrounded by rapidly advancing forest fire and he didn’t exactly have time to stop and have a few minutes banter between removing the button-down and donning the t-shirt. I do hope he’ll make it up to us with slightly longer (or slower – Gawd, kill me now) Shirtless moments during the rest of the season. We can only hope!.

    Physically, I preferred the beefier Alex/Steve of previous seasons, (something about those bulging biceps, broad chest and strong shoulders that just does it for me in a big way). Even with his now-leaner frame, Alex is still far too damn sexy for his own good. That presence he has about him is every bit as commanding, captivating and powerful as always. I would definitely absolutely ‘stay low and wet’… 😉 LMAO

    Liked by 1 person

  21. So Koala Smartass is still on vacation but her cousin Kangaroo Quack offered to take a honest and very funny opinion. She did a terrific job. I loved her honesty and sense of humor. For me she can visit us on this special site everytime she wish. I have to conform that all potencial of making an awesome show vanished, don’t expect nothing and watching just for Alex.
    Thank you Foyeur!


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