I was pretty much underwhelmed by this episode. Why? Too much Chicago instead of Hawaii Ohana as advertised. Too much “fan fiction”, and too little of our sane and intelligent Navy SEAL, as a competent leader operating with his team.
The team in trouble is a big issue. I thought this was where we would get all the answers about the bomb that was supposed to kill them all a few episodes back. I also knew Jerry was going to get a badge because of all the spoilers we got, but I thought we would see some serious heroism from him on saving the team in order for him to get it ……..
Instead of what I thought it would be, I got a different feeling from the episode.
Here is my take on it.
Episode Title: “Post Liver Transplant Threesome in the Doctor’s Office”
Plot synopsis: Playing doctor-doctor in an actual doctor’s office. An intro to another p0rn movie. Chapter 2 after the Valentines’ day balcony scene scenario. (Moving on from some couples-p0rn to some gay-p0rn)
COTW: – The mystery of “The Moving Scar” ……?
Reward at the end: A ‘Lucky Packet Police Badges‘ for doing something most 8 year olds would have done – call the real cops when you have a crisis, or call them when your friends are missing and in grave danger.
- The Doctors Office: Is anybody seriously writing this stuff for these “fun” scenes? Sounds like something thought up while partying too hard. Why in this episode? Why now? Why such a ridiculous scenario? And the dialogue, are they once again in the actual show, just randomly using the parts where the actors are ad-libbing and goofing around for fun in an embarrassing shirtless scene? It feels like part of the show has become the gag reel that is supposed to be on the DVD later this year, but found its way into the actual show. Maybe the actors, the writers, or the editing staff are reading too much of all the slashporn, written about themself and the show. Or are the writers really going out of their way to accommodate the fantasies of the slash shipper fans? Have they done their homework and are playing along nicely to keep their “most loyal fans” engaged? Or is the producer even just satisfying his own fantasies about what he actually want these characters to be? I guess if you “entertain” yourself to sleep every night while reading McDanno slash fiction, then this is just your cup of tea. Dear writers/producers, stop pussyfooting around with these suggestions in so many scenes – make them canon! Go for it! Be brave!
Koala Smartass: What are you saying? Are you changing ships now? Are you becoming a true fan? Leaving McKono for McDanno? #IfYouCan’tBeatThemJoinThem #BendingOverAndPokeInDelicatePlaces #SERIOUSLY?
- The irony of the opening scene of Steve and Danny in the Doctors office, is some of the “best” comedy I’ve seen in a long time. With Danny’s dialogue they are seriously poking fun at how the show botched up the reality and seriousness of organ donation and the life changes that inevitably become part of such a transplant patient. You are 100% correct Danny. Steve has been doing all that idiotic stuff, but not only that ….. in reality it is actually impossible that he could have done all that stuff so soon after the transplant. And Steve would have been back in hospital by now, if this was real life and not fiction. From there my comment – Comedy at its best.
Koala Smartass: Glad you got that off you chest. Can we move on now?
- How is Steve’s post-op recovering going slow, but the liver is doing fine? What about it is slow? He runs around, drinks bear, looks healthy and gorgeous etc. What is slow about that?
Koala Smartass: So you are a medical expert now?
BTW, if you thought Danny had no right to be there in at the doctor, think again – he was just there checking up on his own liver. You know when you donate you have rights ……
- The Chicago Story: I like the idea of Grover’s storyline in Chicago and I think Chi is doing a great job with these very emotional scenes, but I do not like that it is detached from the team. Too far away from his Ohana. Away from his physical and emotional support. This whole storyline was too far removed from Hawaii and the Ohana to interest me as part of this show. Same sentiments could have been so much more engaging for me if shared with Steve and the team.
Koala Smartass: 
- This must be a first. Perfect excuse to have Kamekona in an episode, and he is not used? Would have loved to see how Steve had to bribe him to lend them his helicopter for the trip.
Koala Smartass: Then there would have been less time for Grover’s righteous talks. (You know he was so righteous that his own actions of torture and vandalism were justified. #NOT )
- I still do not really understand Steve McGarrett’s training as a SEAL and the fact that he just walks openly in the woods and does not stay on the lookout whenever he stumbles upon something, like for instance, bodies hanging on trees? And not to mention going on such a dangerous mission, without a real safety net of back-up, regardless of not trusting HPD.
Koala Smartass: You are forgetting that the Five-0 team does not consist of fellow trained SEAL’s. Therefor they cannot be expected to be that good. 😕
- Decomposed bodies dropped to the ground from that height and staying intact ? And was it really that intimidation for them to drag those corpses?
Koala Smartass: Did props staff make the body dummy’s too strong for your liking? You silly – they covered their tracks by sweeping the ground with the corpses.
- At what stage did Steve send the pictures to Noelani – he was still busy taking them when they got captured?
Koala Smartass: Nitpicking the finer details again dear?
- Kono: “Guys it looks like they are almost finished.” – But the camp still looks pretty full and stocked up to me. Lots of stuff in tents? Even the beds are still made up.
Koala Smartass: Don’t mess with the dialogue and the reality of what is shown again. This is Five-0 reality.
- At what stage did Steve get the name of the new leader?
Koala Smartass: I am sure that at night Steve memorizes all the names of baddies in all the gangs in Hawaii. He can ID them all on first sight.
- Jerry: “Five-0 went to Lanai yesterday” – Did he really only call Duke the next day? What did he do the whole day and night while they were out of reach? Pick his nose? Do they really want us to believe that the team was locked up there overnight and that Jerry did nothing to help them that whole time? And got a badge for it?
Koala Smartass: It was written in the script …… (I vote for Noelani to get a badge next. She is the team doctor already in any case)
- Steve: “You came after us. And you came after our families” What? Did I miss something? When did Michelle come after them and their families? I thought they just stumbled upon her operation?
Koala Smartass: Don’t worry. You will get that one explained, on the deleted scenes on the DVD. Or maybe we will get it like what happened to the Dr Gray “ending”, which was apparently mentioned on MacGyver. Maybe Shioma’s threat to them was mentioned on Chicago PD? (Talking about world’s best producer – that show has got one serious contender for that one)
- Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Jerry’s character and I think he is a good addition to the cast by being something else than a kick-ass police officer. But I do not really understand what exactly he did during this operation that warranted him getting a badge. In the past he has done some real detective work – this time he called Duke, after Noelani told him to ….. and ….. ?
Koala Smartass: I guess it was time to do it. Come hell or high water, it needed to be done now. (Maybe one of the other members is leaving the team?)
- I guess once again another law enforcement group is corrupt to the core, while Five-0 are the saints – Chicago PD would much rather protect one of their own than embrace the truth? BTW, I would have liked to know what the verdict was in the case against Clay. How many years he got … If any? I Guess we might hear that detail on some other show some day as well.
Koala Smartass: Ah-ha. Now you are getting with the program.
And that was Steve’s story for:
Hawaii Five-0 – Episode 7:21
Ua Malo’o Ka Wai
(The Water is Dried Up)Written by: Peter M. Lenkov & Eric Guggenheim
Directed by: Eagle Egilsson
(7 April 2017)
PS: I nearly forgot to mention the COTW (The Moving Scar). Some sideways insult was thrown at us on twitter this week for apparently failing in our “expertise” (which we have actually never claimed) on Alex. Dear person’s who still doubt our research without investigation stuff yourself. If you still wonder if the collar-bone scar is actually a real Alex one or a Steve scar – A simple look at the movement of the scar from episode to episode, shows you clearly that it is make-up. (Real scars tend to stay in one spot and not show up in different places) And see … the scar disappears when Alex is just Alex! Conclusion: It is not real.
- Here are just a few of the hundreds of comparisons I could have used with Steve in the latest episode, and Steve and the real Alex over the years …….
And BTW, thank you for forcing me to once again study some shirtless pictures of this gorgeous man. ……. it is really hard to do. I actually have had a draft for a new post about it for a long time and it is just not getting done. Mainly because I get distracted by all the pretty.
Slide show of Screencaps of the Episode:
To be continued …….
Alex O´Loughlin ~ An Intense Study 