Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:18

It is still really hard for me to get used to the way American television networks run their show schedules. I am used to starting a series and seeing an episode every week for the duration of the run of the season – no weeks in between, waiting for the next new episode to air. While I do understand the reasons for the way it is done in the USA, I still think it is terrible towards the fans and also the continuity of the series, with so many breaks. I find it stupid to wait for several weeks, to see the next episode on a show you follow – it kind of hampers the flow of the show. 😦

In this episode we see Steve for about 22½ minutes on our screens. 😦 In comparison, he was seen in episode 318 (the one mainly set at the roller derby) for around 26 minutes.

Exploring the categories to see how hard Steve´s actions have been on the fangirl panties this week?

1. Veinp0rn (either neck or elsewhere):


LurxGirlSuch a delicious vein protruding from his thick neck, just below his nibble worthy chiseled jaw. I’m like Pavlov’s dog at the sight of its’ pulsating prowess. I give it a mouth watering 10!

FOYeur: For me the vein sometimes show  the passion Steve is experiencing at the time. I would surely like to stir some passion in him for a moment or two ……. 😛 Let’s give it a full rounded 10.

Average score for category 1: 10

2. Letting the eye brow(s) do the work:


LurxGirl: McSmurf is killing me with this face! I have been rendered speechless by his beauty. *Sigh* 10!

FOYeur: Somehow these static uplifted brows is speaking volumes, and it seems to speak the language of my favorite panties – sweet talking them all the way, straight to Hawaii! I’ll give it a cuteness 8.

Average score for category 2: 9

3. Teasing us with the ‘pink beast’


LurxGirl: Three words…Mile High Club! 😛
Just lean back and enjoy the ride! This tongue teasing deserves nothing less than a 10!

FOYeur: Surely I’ll join any type of club with him ….not that that plane’s interior look comfortable at all! Think I’m getting old. 🙂 I’ll give the inviting beast an 8.

Average score for category 3:  9

4. Haunting us with ‘Dat FACE’ :


LurxGirl: Being the people pleaser that I am, my heart aches when I see this face, and feel the need to make him happy. I have ways to make him smile. 😛 10!

FOYeur: Oy, this face ……. don’t know if I want to hug him or caress his pain away.  Maybe some butterfly kisses all over that face, will soften his pain or ease the look of concern away – 10

Average score for category 4: 10

5. Caressing the gun (may include trigger finger p0rn)


LurxGirl: His long fingers wrapped around the base, one gliding along the shaft and quick flick of the wrist…*shudder*
His superior gun handling skills and the bonus bicep vein PoRn have my panties in a tizzy. 10!

FOYeur: He surely knows how to get a good lift in his gun 😛 . I am really jealous of the gun! 10

Average score for category 5: 10

6. Doing the STRUT (modeling those pants 😛 ):



LurxGirl: I vote for more green and more cargos! He looks heavenly in green and the cargos hugged his thighs and @ss perfectly! McG in the jungle brings out the wild animal in me! I am mesmerized by his thighs! 10

FOYeur: Tarzan Steve, brings out the damsel in distress in me. Sure when he rescue me, I’ll thank him over and over and over again……… 10

Average score for category 6: 10

7. Kicking down doors (or people or some other bad@ss move):


LurxGirl:   This brought back memories of Steve in 1.05 when Danny, using surveillance cameras, helped him bring down the bad guy with a tire iron. Looking forward to the rest of the season!

This is bad@ss at its’ best! The strength of his arm and the quickness of his hand to unholster his gun gets my blood pumping! This takedown gets a 10 from me!

FOYeur:  Yes, we have some badass Steve again – I’ll give in 8

Average score for category 7: 9

8. Mesmerizing us with that smile

(sometimes even a laugh or just by being cute):


LurxGirlAlex is shining through here. ❤ Even his tiny crow’s feet are sexy. (trying not to focus on Cath’s hand 😉 ) His nose is irresistible and that natural smile goes straight to my panties. 😛 (wishful thinking) 10!

FOYeur: His laugh is infectious. I am mesmerized for life 10

Average score for category 8: 10

9. Dishing out hugs (or other act of kindness or affection):


LurxGirl:   Poor Max, he was so worried how Steve would react to the terrible news. Love that Steve offered comfort to Max and thanked him for his efforts. Honestly, I can’t stop staring at his beautiful face and that tiny curl forming at his nape. The polo gives us such yummy neckp0rn! It’s a finger twitching 10!

FOYeur: I love how the relationship between Steve and Max developed. On one hand, I would have loved to see a redo of Epi 220, to see how Steve would have handled Max at his most vulnerable. Have we ever seen them hug? I think that would really pull at my heartstrings 8

Average score for category 9: 9

10. The seduction of  “The Tantalizing Tushy”:



LurxGirl:  Well if you must walk away… *sigh* Thank you for doing it like this! His shirt clinging to the muscles on his back and shoulders, his slender waist, and two tantalizing mounds of flesh atop those powerful thighs… UNF! Makes me want to hop on for a piggy back ride…to start. 10!

FOYeur: Every little inch of this man walking away in these clothes is playing havoc on my panties! From those glorious shoulders to that tantalizing tushy – 10

Average score for category 10: 10

11. Titillating us with those perky pecs and/or nudging nipples:


LurxGirl: Wardrobe, please, please invest in more of these form fitting polos! If he isn’t shirtless, this is a nice option. He has the most magnificent shoulder to waist ratio! Imagining my hands pushing his shirt up over his delicious abs to those finger twitching peaks of flesh. My tongue trailing behind, finally reaching the summit. He gasps as I brush my teeth across his sensitive nub. This “wet dream” is 10 and then some.

FOYeur: I really hope that the comeback of the polos lately, means they will be back full steam in S5. If they have to dress him in something, make it something like this that makes him look virile and young and show us those inviting pecs and the nips. I’ll give it a nip-licking, pec-fondling 10

Average score for category 11: 10

12. Doing something hot that you won’t find in every episode:

LurxGirl: Jungle Steve in a scarf. A very sexy accessory, plus has many non traditional uses that I’d love to try out with this gorgeous creature! 10! 

FOYeur: There is nothing about this wildlife ‘creature’ I do not like. In fact I would like to take him home and unwrap him, because he is a perfect 10 as a gift. And I love the longer hair!!

Average score for category 12: 10

Adding up all the averages of each category, we give this episode 97 % on the Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter.

So many panties must have found their way to Hawaii this week.  😛


And always remember, this is just us, having some fun with our favorite “hero” …….. 😛




Filed under Alex O´Loughlin, Beauty perfected, Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett

26 responses to “Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:18

  1. Alyssa (AlexOsplace)

    I just want to say that I read your Steve-Or-gasm-O-meter every week but never comment. Just wanted to say how much I enjoy them. They are always so funny and entertaining and sooooo true. I mean the man could probably give you an “O” with just one of his panty dropping glancing, but I love how you guys break it down. In my book he would get a 10 in every category therefore causing the panties to drop every week.


  2. I loved this episode 🙂 Thank you for the recap!


  3. Has this season reached to 97% yet or this this the hottest epi? It must have been that scarf. Need to alert Peter to order more scarfs for next season 😀


  4. karen1228

    That scarf on him was killer! And I loved that he had on cargos!! How I miss them!! But, the best part of this entire episode was the return of BAMF Steve!! He’s been MIA for so long! The takedown in the maze and menacing the CIA agent – OMG – he got me so excited!! Hope he’s here to stay!


  5. wonderful as always!! Got stuck at the Mile High Club comment as my brain went on a dreamy holiday. That’s what Steve and Danno could have been doing the entire time in the air LOL *sigh* The man just gets prettier every episode!


    • I imagine the fanfic community will bite on the Mile HIgh Club McDanno style. 🙂 I have professed to being pro McDanno, and I stress, NOT ANTI MCROLL, but would be happy to see Steve “get it on” with anyone if it means we get nearly naked McG. 😛 I would even settle for a nice hot make out session. Hmmm…I don’t think by the looks of the remainder of the episodes, that will happen this season.


      • Get it on would be nice for Steve, but I would prefer it with someone I like to look at too. And looking at nekkid Danny would be a total turn off. Now, Chin or Cath on the other hand… just saying.

        But as you said, not this season. Poor Steve, he didn’t get any this season. Oh, well, maybe they did it in the shower…


      • alexnymph

        Yes, I loved the mile-high comment but was afraid the McDannos would seize on it, since they were the only two in the plane (aside from the pilots–now they could be yummy in those sexy flight suits!). Lots of tie-downs in the cargo bay, possibly even overhead–could be a great playroom.

        Thought I saw gum in Alex’s mouth in this scene–an excuse to rewatch in slo-mo 🙂


        • I think there is gum in his mouth most of the times – He just hides it well and is very good at it 🙂
          The best fo me about the plane was that from the outside it is a cargo plane without any windows, but on the inside you can see the windows, but they are all taped close 😆


  6. I can’t really get over those jungle scenes. That was really the best yet. Little gray in the slightly longer hair, the pants, the scarf… just perfection.

    I know what you mean with the strange thing about breaks between episodes. That is kind of weird, but I’m not sure I would prefer seven months without a new episode. That would be the result of airing 22 or 24 eps in a row. More than half a year without any new stuff. I think they tried that with 24 and started in January and finished 24 weeks later.
    I don’t think that would be a good idea.

    I LOVE your Steve/Mick 0r-gasm-0-meter. Always so much fun. Thank you!


    • I am used to waiting for shows for those long periods. Have never found it bad, because then I follow other shows during that time.
      But I must say, I do not know how I would deal with an Alex-show and the long periods?
      I just think people want consistency and not to have to wonder about the next episode. They do not all follow the social media like we do, and when they miss a new episode, they might just stop watching regularly and loose interest.


  7. Jungle Steve!!! Cargos!!! Dat Scarf!! I could see this every week. Okay, he was wearing a blue shirt. Maybe blue shirt No 40000. Feels like this. But, to be honest, in that episode I didn’t care about the blue shirt. Because of the cargos and the scarf before LOL I love him wearing green!! ❤


  8. Tanja

    Excellent post again. I love to read this, you girls are so funny and sexy, hahaha.
    Anyway, I got stuck on the “Mile High Club” too. It’s my ultimate fantasy with Alex; making him a Royal Member of the Mile High Club! 😉
    With his naughtiness, I bet he’s already a member, but I guess his membership must need to be renewed very soon…… 😀


  9. The walk away as long as he comes back. And the killer smile OMG.


  10. FOYeur it’s your fault that it’s not 100%! Come on girl, think again! 😉
    He was so hot in this epi, hot goof, hot bamf, hot SEAL, hot everything. And the scarf? Oh my… Scarfgasm by McScarf.


  11. buttercup4u

    I had so much fun and butterflies in my stomach reading THIS, thank you FOYeur and Lurxgirl and thanks Paula for the ever so gorgeous gifs!
    I agree on the eyebrows, great work Steve, and I agree the polo has to become more frequent, it shows his perfectly shaped body so nicely!
    I knew you would catch Steve walking away from Kamekona’s but those dark pants ruined the perfect tantalizing tushy, I wish he wore the caramel pants!
    I loved jungle McG but I’m not into #TeamMoreScarfForMcG# 😉 I can’t get myself to have a thing for that scarf. But I’m happy for you all 😆
    And McG doing all the Bamf-stuff was frkn sexy, to put it bluntly McG and his gun (the metall one 😉 ) is like freshly baked bread and swiss chocolate, never fail to please and always makes you want more!!!


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