Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:16

As I said last week, we will take a closer look at the screen time we get from Steve on the show lately and also compare it with episodes from the past. I had a look at Epi 316 and came across some interesting trivia (what can I say, small things amuses me 😀 ). Steve also had a heart to heart talk with another man in the beginning of it, just as with Grover this time. In 316, it was with Mick, asking him to investigate his mother – and that one backfired a bit on him.

During filming of that episode, Treat Williams who plays Mick, tweeted about Alex being under the weather, but still remaining his professional self and getting the job done. While filming this latest episode during the first week of January 2014, there was the incident of the fire at Alex’s own house. So both episodes were not filmed at a very good time in his personal life. In Epi 316 Steve had screen time of just over 20 minutes and during Epi 416, around 26 minutes. 😀

But let’s get on with the fun and see how Steve´s actions have been on the fangirl panties this week:

1. Veinp0rn (either neck or elsewhere):


LurxGirl Wow, what a display of throbbing deliciousness! On the right he has a multitude of smaller veins to run my tongue across the pulsating ripples. 😛 But, that single engorged vein on his left has my tongue in a frenzy. It deserves a slow laving from top to bottom. With his hands not visible here, I can’t help thinking about “the main vein” we all dream to explore. *SLURP* 10!

FOYeur: Yes, I would love to do some vein-mapping on those arms myself – with my tongue of course. and certainly not only on those arms…… 😳 . A yummy fantasy 10 from me!

Average score for category 1: 10

2. Letting the eye brow(s) do the work:

FOYeur: I am sad to report that there was no special eye brow action other than major squinting all the time – so its got to be 0 (I’m not sure if it was because of the sad story line of nightmares and the past, Alex’s personal woes or just because  of the harsh Hawaiian sunlight taking its toll on them all?! 😕 )

LurxGirl: Oh no! I really wish they would give him sunglasses to protect his delicate eyes. He knows how to work the glasses…see Mick. 🙂


Paula: Oops, chief gif editor here (again). Apologies, I did not spot this eyebrow moment till afterwards. Blame it on crotch tease to prevent my eyes from going above the arms. There seems to be nice neckvein p0rn too 😀 My score is 7, purely because the eyebrow action is very average and not accompanied by full frontal face 🙂

FOYeur: Thanks Paula for at least a glimpse of something – I watched this episode 6 time and this was so insignificant, I did not even notice it. For me however it was shot from too far away and without saying much, just a mere lifting of the brow. Don’t know what LG will say, but I’ll stick to giving it an insignificant eyebrow p0rn 0

 Average score for category 2: 0

3. Teasing us with the ‘pink beast’


LurxGirl:  Nice full tongue with added nostril flare. I’ll give this quick lick a 9. I think all the squinting distracted me a little. I am imagining this with sunnies…*sigh*

FOYeur: OY, I can watch him do this for hours! …….a sighing 9 from me as well….

Average score for category 3:  9

4. Haunting us with ‘Dat FACE’ :


FOYeur: I can just see Steve adding up what he just heard …….. Jerry saying, “Oh Cath is coming, I better freshen up”. One of the best one liners ever and an even better face in reaction to it ….. a priceless 10! (I just want to add here, that I think Alex did a great job with the material given to him this episode – I think a lot of actors wish that they could have just a little bit of the talent he has at expressing himself 🙂 )

LurxGirl: Don’t worry Steve, I think Jerry needs to do more than freshen up to compete with you. 🙂
OMcG..THAT MOUTH! I want to suck on that bottom lip and lick my way in to taste that hot “pink beast” I see peeking through his teeth. Sometimes he is just so pretty I can’t stand to look at him, then there are times, like this one, he is just F*ing Sexy! I give it a Need2getlaidsoon10! 😳 TMI?

Average score for category 4: 10

5. Caressing the gun (may include trigger finger p0rn)


LurxGirl: I know I am supposed to be looking at the gun! 😯 I blame Paula for including the FOY with TH in this gif! Oh my, I do love those pants from the front! No sagging there. I think that is why he needs such baggy pants…to accommodate for the FOY. Ok I will stop talking about the pants until the proper category. 🙂
I will never tire of watching Steve enter a room like this. His intense stare, strong arms and shoulders holding the large piece of steel steady and the glimpse of skin on his gloved hand. The total package gets a 10!

FOYeur: Pure concentration, a man and his gun on a mission 🙂 I give it an 8, because of lack of special gun action.

Average score for category 5: 9

6. Doing the STRUT (modeling those pants 😛 ):


FOYeur: You’re in BIG trouble now girl ……. I will give it a ‘big time attitude‘ strut 10.

LurxGirl: Cuffed and ready for my punishment! *shudder*. This naughty McPerv just might need a spanking. 😳
Gloved or bare handed…your choice. 😛 He is a strutting “wet dream” and deserves a 10 and then some!

Average score for category 6: 10

7. Kicking down doors (or people or some other bad@ss move):


LurxGirl: My loins quiver just thinking of the strength in his thighs. *SIGH* With all that jiu jitsu training, I’m sure he has exceptional endurance and stamina. GUH! This sexy, bad@ss thigh action gets a 10 from me!


LurxGirl:Oh Yeah Baby, c0ck that…((THUD)) He is the master of making random sh!t sexy! I give it a tantalizing 10!

FOYeur: Okay I am not one for subtleties in this category. For me Badass Steve needs to be loud and/or kicking down stuff. So I think an 8 will be enough.

Average score for category 7: 9

8. Mesmerizing us with that smile (sometimes even a laugh or just by being cute):


LurxGirlNothing but a 10 will do for this classic adorable Steve reaction. Thank you Steve for the tongue and a smile…*sigh* My panties are definitely smiling with each swipe of that tongue across those red juicy lips. The scruff over the chin dimple is adding to my panty pleasure. Is it at the scratchy stage or would it just tickle the tender skin of my inner thighs? 😳 I am out of control!

FOYeur: This is so cute, combining the smile with some tongue action. The eyes are also smiling, but the frown spoils the picture a bit for me. 9

Average score for category 8: 9,5

9. Dishing out hugs (or other acts of kindness or affection):


LurxGirl:  I am afraid this is the expression Alex will have on his face when I go in for the hug on that day of my dreams, when we finally meet. *sigh* I of course will have my arms around that scrumptious waist of his and my hands will try not to grab that @ss. Or, his expression will be 😯 !
I totally enjoyed Jorge as Jerry and I hope he is around next year too. I think this group hug is at least an 8. No panty tingling, but it made me giggle. Danny in the background 😆

FOYeur: Just like having Jerry as a house guest now, Steve did not have much choice in this hug. Another choice for an act of kindness could also be for what he did for the Chinese spy. But it was kind of with ulterior motives that he showed her kindness (and the actress with too much beauty make-up in her hospital bed just freaked me out). I’ll give this a 7

Average score for category 9: 7,5

10. The seduction of  “The Tantalizing Tushy”:


LurxGirl:How can these pants look so good from the front and fail so miserably from the back? 😦 I thought they looked good in part of the episode and then they got all baggy and stretched out. Either there are two pairs of pants, or he stretched one pair out over the time of shooting. In parts of the episode, they are snug on his thighs and around the FOY area…yummy..then here they are a saggy mess. You can see those tight round globes trying to impress us. Wardrobe MUST either shrink these pants or burn them

FOYeur: I vote for it to be burned! He just looked too untidy for me this whole episode …… runs and hide!


LurxGirl:So frickin jealous of this bench… for obvious reasons! This tushy gets a tantalizing 10!

FOYeur: We rarely get a shot from behind of Steve sitting down – I give it a ‘not a bad view’, ‘I am jealous of a bench’ 10 

Average score for category 10: 10

11. Titillating us with those perky pecs and/or nudging nipples:


LurxGirl:So nice of show to give us the white muscle shirt again! Too bad the lighting wasn’t great, but I enjoy whatever amount of skin we can get. The tight white material hugging his abs and pecs as they rise and fall with every breath… *sigh* Hate that he had a bad dream and mad at show for not having Cath there to comfort him.
Can’t help wishing I were there to “comfort” him. 😛 I’d start at his toes and work my way up his long lean legs, strip him of the unnecessary garments, kiss him slowly on those delicious lips and work my way back down to paradise. 10!

FOYeur: Really……. having Steve in this white wife beater for the first time after 76 episode  and this is all we got to see of him 😦 This was really an episode of missed opportunities for me!! BUT at least we got to see some pecs and nips and for those I will give it an almost satisfied 10.

Average score for category 11: 10

12. Doing something hot that you won’t find in every episode:


LurxGirl: Those twitching fingers have me squirming in my panties! He is trying to prove a point that he can “get the job done” covered or bare. *shudder* Would die to have his bare hands on me, but can’t help wondering how the cool leather would feel on my sensitive skin.
BTW the pants are looking fine here! The FOY itself deserves at least a 10 and then with the fingers…*sigh*

FOYeur: The nervous twitch of a man on a mission – oh how I wish the mission was me…….. 😀 Maybe an 8 will do (because it is not me ….. )

Average score for category 12: 9

Adding up all the averages of each category, we give this episode  86 % on the Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter.

We suspect there might have been some more panties on the flight to Oahu this week than last week, but maybe not as many as we would have wanted! 😛

Something extra from Paula to remember this episode by……… 😛


FOYeur: He is instinctively moving in on the ‘hot button’ …….. exactly knowing where to find it (I am sure he’ll find mine that easily as well) 😛

LurxGirl:“Be very careful. Don’t step on us McPervs who have fainted at your feet. ” The pants are working for me here! Juicy thighs and mouth watering FOY on display for our viewing pleasure!
I think it’s time for a cold shower.

Although I thought the writers may have missed on a few minor things this week, Alex did not disappoint in the least! He was gorgeous, adorable and vulnerable… a total FLR as usual!

FOYeur: I really wished I was left better satisfied after this episode, but I am still missing my Steve…….

Please feel free to give us your opinion of where you feel we got it right or wrong.

And always remember, this is just us, trying to have some fun with our favorite man! …….. 😛

Happy Birthday to our favourite Navy SEAL, Steve McGarrett – you are the one and only. The man of our dreams and fantasies……….

Hope you have some fun in our fictional TV world on your 37th birthday, big boy!



Filed under Alex O´Loughlin, Beauty perfected, Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett

17 responses to “Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:16

  1. karen1228

    I don’t know what makes me happier, scruff, the strut, the nekkid finger, watching him sit, run, strut or sleep (I sleep in my recliner chair a lot!)! The simple act of him licking his lips makes my panties go pouff! Sigh, plop and thud!


  2. vanduyn

    The strut FTW!!! Thanks much ladies! Awesome analysis as usual 😛


  3. Hi!
    I think it’s time for more “intense study”!
    Re-watching episode this morning, I came to realize that Alex is losing weight again – he’s looking more like season 2, you know what I mean… at the beggining of this season he looked a little chubby, like in season 3 (so healthy), but now, those white pants look so empty – and few months ago they were FILLED with lots of goodness!


    • I have been thinking the same. But with the shirtless JJ pics, he doesn´t look that skinny. For some reason it is him in clothes that make him slimmer? But the legs are much leaner than in season 3.


    • buttercup4u

      Maybe it’s the dark button-downs that make him look slimmer! I think he just doesn’t want to wear those tight pants again!


    • AlexNymph

      I’m wondering if they are different pants–maybe he ruined the tighty-whiteys on purpose so he wouldn’t have to wear them again 😦 I think he looks great on the slimness factor. I thought he was getting a bit chubby in S3. S2 was sick thin, so that wasn’t good, but like Goldilocks, now he’s just right.


      • Sylvie

        I totally agree with you AlexNymph, He looks perfect, not to thin, not to chubby. Even his hair is getting better, right color and right haircut.
        Thanks girl for this review, I particulary enjoy this epi, quite a lot of Steve, bromance again, action, a lot of emotion with McGrover, I shall just have wanted a little more romance with Cath.
        Oh! and Danno’s mother exasperates me, her voice and her acting I can’t support both. It’s the first character of this whole show that I can’t stand. May be the french’s dubbing will be less gnangnan (it’s not the term but I can’t explain how her voice make me feel).



        • I agree… melanie is a good actress, but she has so much botox in her face, so her upper lip can’t een move when she’s talking… and that voice is just creepy – but then, she always had such voice


          • Sylvie

            It surprises me especially as I had never had this feeling by seeing her acting before. I rather like her as an actress and her french voice is great. And yes you’ve got it, Botox, I found that there was something strange on her face when she spoke.


  4. WOW this was really an episode full of goodies 🙂 thank you so much!


  5. mmm deliciousness! Still love the contrast between that dark thigh holster and the light pants *sigh* This episode he walked alot which was goooooood ♥ 😉


  6. buttercup4u

    2 I like the eyebrow, because the pose is sooooo coooool 😉 look at how confident he sits, with white pants (the chair must be dirty for sure, rain, sand, rain, flower dust)
    4 has it all, the eyebrow, thinking eyes, open-mouth, and teeth (he he Lurxgirl is sooooo right 😆 ) and like Foyeur I think he does the best with his face, so much to say with his facial expression!
    7 McG handling the gun has caught my eye during this ep, it’s so frkn hot how he handles the gun, loads it, *boom* (I knew you guys wouldn’t disappoint me with this!)
    10 I’m not into this white pants (I WANT THE CARAMEL BACK!) but AGAIN the way he sits down and lingers his elbow over the bench – wow, just wow, that man can sit down for sure!
    I miss the season 1 kevlar, there’s too much stuff around his body it makes him look shapeless with this new kevlar 😦
    I didn’t get the interaction with the chinese agent, are they trying to tell us some things for the future, like not getting involved with people at work !?!? Or was it just pure coincidence?!
    Thanks – I always enjoy this post and thanks to Paula for the beautiful finds!


  7. gracenotpark

    I give this ep high ratings just for featuring more McG than in the past few eps. Show is only about McG for me. 😉

    I really look forward to y’all’s measuring stick each ep, girlie girls! 😀


  8. What a great way to celebrate McG’s birthday, by perving over him, of course!!!


  9. AlexNymph

    LurxGirl you and FOYeur are on fire today!! LMAO tonight reading your perceptions of StevAlex. It was a good episode–funny and quite entertaining–felt a lot like S1 when life was grand. The only thing out of place was his pants–horribly loose (I know it’s the end of the season, but really, wardrobe could not buy a new pair that fit? Did they spend all the petty cash?).

    Thanks for the fun!


  10. I always enjoy reviewing the episode with Paula’s gifs and Foyeur and Lurxgirl witty comments. TY


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