Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:09

I think the previous episode made it clear that the sum of the parts was better than the parts itself added up. Although all the scenes were not ranking high, the episode came out on top. Lets see what this episode did to our fangirl hearts. 😛

Exploring the categories to see how hard Steve´s actions have been on the fangirl panties this week?

1. Veinp0rn (either neck or elsewhere):


FOYeur:  Enthusiastic Steve brings us neck vein p0rn. Sporty Steve brings us arm vein porn – This scene brought us both neck vein and shoulder vein porn! Together with all its cuteness, I have to give it 10!

LurxGirl The shoulder vein porn is such a treat! I’m mesmerized by the top of the vein, watching it appear and disappear under his ink adorned sweaty goodness. Oh Steve, we know you’ll be back in 10 minutes, but we can’t help missing you and your delicious man boobs. Oh I’m getting ahead of myself aren’t I? 🙂 10!

Average score for category 1: 10

2. Letting the eye brow(s) do the work:



FOYeur: It has been so long since we saw the one eyebrow lift – I actually missed it. Lucky for me Paula see things most of us sometimes miss 😀 . Just because that face speaks volumes again with this one brow lift, I give it a 9

LurxGirl: I love Paula’s b&w gifs! He is somehow even more alluring in them than in color. Mmmm..the single eyebrow lift is so sexy! He looks like he’s expecting a McPerv to be around the corner. 😆 Can’t see his hand. Hope he is protecting the FOY! 😛 This eyebrow lift is a panty pleasing 10 for me!

Average score for category 2: 9,5

3. Teasing us with the ‘pink beast’ (Paula’s pet name for ‘the tongue’)


LurxGirl: We get the full tongue swipe over those perfectly kissable lips and a sexy squint as a bonus! I would die to feel that pink beast glide across my lips, gently pressing to open my eager awaiting mouth. That was my PG rated tongue fantasy. 😉 Just a change of a word turns it to X. 😛 If the gif were in extra slow motion it would be a 10, but I’ll give it a 9 the way it is.

FOYeur: LG, I’m sure you wanted to say ‘my eager awaiting lips’ 😛 …….. I am still a bit disappointed by the way the pink beast is presenting itself so far this season……. maybe I should revise my mindset, and not expect too much seductions with it – but untill then, I give it 8

Average score for category 3: 8,5

4. Haunting us with ‘Dat FACE’ :


FOYeur: Words fail me………How can one man be so hauntingly pretty?! Nothing less than 10

LurxGirl: Paula you are a genius with your choice of gifs! I almost gasped when I saw this come up on my screen. His piercing blue eyes are warming my nether regions quite nicely. I can’t seem to keep my eyes off his mouth in these gifs. Perfectly kissable 10!

Average score for category 4: 10

5. Caressing the gun (may include trigger finger p0rn)


FOYeur: This one arm sling of that BIG gun in the air, together with the naked trigger finger, just shows the power in that wrist and the strength in that finger {{{{SHUDDER}}} …..are you thinking what I am thinking? 😳

LurxGirl: 😆  You were so flustered you forgot your rating!

I’m pretty sure we are both thinking of very similar scenarios involving wrist and finger . That loooonnnggg naked trigger finger. *quiver* I’m giving it a 9 only because Danny’s “constipated” face was distracting me a bit.> He looks like he’s scared to death with that big gun!

FOYeur: OOPS, 😳 😳 ……… A flustered 10 then! 😀

Average score for category 5: 9,5

6. Doing the STRUT (modeling those pants 😛 ):


FOYeur: The casual but cool strut….. Steve being Steve – I now it is not popular opinion, but I do not like these shirts! I much rather prefer the T-shirts with the over shirt, because to me it gave better a view 😛  This is a 7 to me.

LurxGirl:I prefer the length of a t-shirt as well and obviously the better view as a result. If he’s going to wear a button down, I’d rather him wear it alone and not as an over shirt.
I’m very conflicted. I vote “NO SHIRT!” 😆 I do love how the sun is shining on his long legs, but there isn’t much hip action here, so I give it a 6.

Average score for category 6: 6,5

7. Kicking down doors (or people or some other bad@ss move):


FOYeur:  Oh My…..can he get more badass that this?! Kicking open a door, pushing a wounded perp around. I no it is not supposed to have me all flustered ….. but it does!! A definite badass 10.

LurxGirl:  Ruthless Navy Seal in action here! This,and when he was going to push the guy into the lye solution. HOLY SH*t! He was so badass in this scene! Oh my…look at his strong thighs in action…GUH! My panties surrender! 10!

Average score for category 7: 10

8. Mesmerizing us with that smile (sometimes even a laugh or just by being cute):


FOYeur: A smile so sweet for aunt Deb – she is one lucky lady. But the again, I am glad I am not his aunt – aunts are not allowed to think and dream of him in a manner that I do 😳 I give it a cougar 9

LurxGirlI’m sure Carol Burnett was feeling pretty lucky to get her hands on this hunk! I think Alex was a little star struck with her too, judging by his interview with ET. They were great together in all their scenes! His humble sweet smile is turning me into a pile of goo. I want to pinch his cheeks…*cough*… on his face, this time. 😉 I think this is more sweet than hot, so I give it a 9.

Average score for category 8: 9

9. Dishing out hugs (or other acts of kindness or affection):


FOYeur: This episode was so full of ‘feels’ and hard to choose just one, but this dearness between brother and sister was Steve at his best! For me it is a 10.

LurxGirl:  Someone on another blog mentioned how he looks like an old movie star in this scene. I see Cary Grant a little.
His big hand giving her a gentle squeeze on the arm is so touching. Besides that, he is F***ing Scorching Hot in that shirt and tie! He really is amazing with his range of emotions. I can’t believe this man hasn’t been awarded for his talents! I’m hoping by working with some of the high caliber guest stars, who all seem to praise his talents and work ethic, might get noticed sooner than later. I give this hug a 10 and his HOTNESS a 10+++!

Average score for category 9: 10

10. The seduction of  “The Tantalizing Tushy”:


FOYeur: It is a pity this scene is so small and so quick – again it was Paula that caught it for me. But we have to take what we can get 😀 I give it a firm 8

LurxGirl: Oh yeah, Baby!! Would have been much better in a t-shirt, and as FOYeur said, not so quick. ((FINGER TWITCHING)) 9!

Average score for category 10:8,5

11. Titillating us with those perky pecs and/or nudging nipples:


FOYeur: Because of wardrobe’s choice in clothing material, kept us from seeing any nip action. But of course we were treated to some peekaboo perky pecks …..sigh…… I give it a shy 9.

LurxGirl:I know there is no nip showing, but I just want to cup my hand around that tantalizing mound of flesh and feel his nipples harden under my touch. UNF! I’m feeling anything but shy when I see this. RRARR! This cougar gives it a 10!

Average score for category 11:9,5

12. Doing something hot that you won’t find in every episode:


FOYeur: Steve once again showing us his full range of emotions in one scene. Of course we can’t have it all in every episode and that is what makes it so special when we do get the chance. 10!!

LurxGirl:I already said how much I loved these two together. This was a great scene! I’m giving it a 9, not because he wasn’t fantastic in it, but it didn’t rev my engine too high.

Average score for category 12: 9,5

Adding up all the averages of each category, we give this episode 92%on the Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter.

We suspect there might have not been a dry eye (or panty) left in front of the TV with this episode! 😛

We celebrate our new categories, with this something extra Paula made to remember this episode by……… 😛


LurxGirl:Don’t we all wish we were that hand?! JUST YUMM!! Thanks again Paula for all the goodies!

FOYeur: I so wish this was done with a slow hand…….maybe we should ask Paula for a slo mo shot next time.. 😀

Please feel free to give us your opinion of where you feel we got it right or wrong – Is 92% to high or to low?! 😀

And always remember, this is just us, having some fun with our favorite “weekly pleasure” …….. 😛


Paula here. Ahem…slow mo action? Here, just for extra perving 😉

409-slow-tongue 409-slow-butt



Filed under Alex O´Loughlin, Beauty perfected, Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett

29 responses to “Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:09

  1. Ontlls

    Oh my WOW!! First thing Monday morning WOW!! Um.. How am I supposed to function after this.. That tongue action, the jail scene with Aunt Deb wow!! I can’t comment, but after work! 🙂


  2. I was very happy with this shirt (well sort of) should have been shirtless-lol
    got a peak of the chest hair, and with the dress shirt and tie–melted into a puddle, loved this episode!!


  3. Anwyn

    This is soooo distracting. I just started to work on something when your new post popped up. It was a wonderful episode and you made it even more memorable. Thank you all.


  4. Vixhen

    Oh this is just AWESOME! Watching this is just like eating potato chips…you can’t just eat one! Love, love, love! You guys rock!


  5. I just love how his hand accentuases the perfect round shape of his butt, in that last gif. It just followes that perkyness perfectly 😀


  6. Isa

    *on my feet, clapping hands* Thanks for a ‘perveted’ monday… and btw, my perv soul ask, no no no, beg to you for post this on tumblr!!I just want reblog reblog, reblog,reblog this AOL master piece!! Xoxo


  7. Thank you for the slow motion gifs, Paula! I am on my way to my new job, so I will be back later to ogle and comment further. I must turn off my iPad or I will be late. Just one more look…*sigh*


  8. #6 the strut slowly becoming my new favorite move, definite 10 love it! #8 the smile *swoon* #9 the affection, this whole episode was full of love and I really enjoyed it. I thought the scene where Aunt Deb broke the news to Steve was just heart breaking. I would add one more delight to the mix, Steve in the suit, oh my!


    • I think the scene with auntie in jail was done really well. Starting off with both being a bit uncomfortable and then it quickly turned to funny only to get emotional. I especially loved that they didn´t make it overly tearful. You got the sense of a grave issue but with just enough emotions to make it wonderful to watch. Carol B and Alex played against each others so well, it was almost like a match made in heaven 🙂
      Only (big) minus was the lounge singing in the end. I did watch it on mute :/


      • I agree although I cried more then once. Unfortunately, terminal diseases hits close to home. I loved the lounge singing at the end, you should try it unmuted at least once, if you didn’t already. I know it is kind of cheesy but “we’re making memories” 😉 Now, we have two weeks of no H50. Although it does return, Friday the 13th which is my bday so something else for me to look forward too 🙂


        • I lost my mother to ovarian cancer in 2005 and Carol B. reminds me so much of her. So when she admitted to having cancer, the tears started to roll. I loved the song, but I grew up watching her, and it was very
          fitting for the end of this episode. True, she isn’t the greatest singer, but the song was so touching and to see Steve’s beautiful expressions was worth a bad note, here or there.
          Happy early Birthday! Mine is the 3rd!


          • I am sorry for your loss, it is difficult losing a parent. my mom had diabetes and eventually it just took over. I don’t wish that on anyone. I agree with your thoughts on the song at the end.
            I have a feeling the next episode is going to be really good and showcase our guy’s talent. Thanks and happy birthday to you too, I love being a December baby!


  9. vanduyn

    Oh my lord! So many goodies!! Thanks girlies! I give you both 100% for satisfaction. And you’re right, the slo-mo is excellent!! 😛


  10. mmmmmmm Veins!! Yum! The last two slo mo tho WOW! talk about 10/10!!! The lip licking is exactly what I was doing watching that hand 😀


  11. karen1228

    TATTS, pecs, veins, slow mo, nekkid trigger finger, massive guns, casual, cool strut, slo-mo, tease of a tongue and a killer white shirt and blue tie! I’ve died and gone to heaven!


  12. I can not think of one single thing we didn’t get from Alex this episode from the way he looked to his emotion to action and excitement. Loved everything about him in this one. Living it all again in slo mo is just icing on that hunk of cake called Alex. I want a bite. Meter off the charts!


  13. Linda E.

    Your caps are perfect !! Couldn’t have been any better. I loved this episode so much. Carol was wonderful, Alex was sheer perfection in every way. I especially liked how sweet he was with Mary Ann, who would feel Aunt Deb’s loss the most. This was just an all-round fantastic episode !!


  14. I think Alex had fun with this episode. A bit different again from their usual perp chasing. He is shining when given the opportunity to show his acting range. Steve should be allowed to smile in every episode, how can anyone resist that sweet face…


    • Anwyn

      No one can. I so much agree with you that it does him very good to step out of the usual perp chasing and show his acting skills. That’s why I wish so much that he would be the new James Bond. 2 hours watching him being beautiful, kissing, seducing OMG. He could show the range of his talent and shine, shine, shine.


  15. brandy

    Today is my anniversary so far it started shitty till I got this link all I can say freely is thank you god thank you..,😍😍


  16. Ok here we go!
    #1. 10! How can you not give it a 10. It has all. Tats, sweat, veins, shoulders, that FACE and attitude!
    #2. Oh the one eyebrow thingie! Long time no see! 10!
    #3. Pink beast over perfect shaped lips PLUS dimpled chin? 10!
    #4.One perfect Alexpression! Always a 10!
    #5. He is kicking dirt and I’m all in. But he is not close enough and frightened Danny doesn’t fit 😉 so just a 9!
    #6. It’s not only the strut, it’s his face and the waving arms, they are saying: *sigh* A crime, once again *sigh* I give it a 8.
    #7. Yes! There he is. My “acid bath SEAL”. Raarrrr. 10!
    #8. Not a seducing smile or a smug smile but incredible happy and fond smile we don’t see too often. 9!
    #9. Emotions, Alexpressions, form acid bath SEAL to loving, caring brother and hurting nephew. Oh this man. 10++++++!
    #10. Because I totally missed it a 8!
    #11. Seeing this gif I think I can smell him. Soooo close. 10.
    #12. I cry everytime watching this scene! So incredibly well acted. I want to hug him and make his life a little bit better. My poor baby… Strong, vulnerable man are hot. And Alex nailed it. 10+++++++++++++!
    Extras: esp. the slow motion: 1000000000!
    Thank you all!


  17. It’s always so much fun, reading your comments and scores. You did a terrific job again.And Paula’s gifs are awesome. My 4.09 episode is 9.75 – almost perfect. TY


  18. OMG *wipes drool* I totally missed the extra sloooowww hand motion when he modeled the contours of his a$$ and the wonderful drape of his dress pants. BASICALLY HE’S TEASING US! FLR…..IHH/NID


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.