Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:06

First of all, I would like to apologise for the break in our posts of  the Steve-0 meter’s since we launched the first one with episode 401. Real life has been a bit of a bitch during the past month, but we hope to catch up soon 😀

Just to refresh your memory of what it is all about:

We know Steve likes to race with cars and cars have speedometers – well, Steve gets our fangirl hearts racing and we have Steve-0r-gasm-o-meters.

We would like to introduce something new for this new season of Hawaii Five-0. We all perv about different things when it comes to Alex/Steve. We want to take some of these moments during each episode and rate them according to how well we think they have been used to satisfy our needs to drool over this man………how hard has he been stepping on the pedals of our fangirl hearts? :razz:

We will give you our thoughts and score on each category and find some sort of % for this episode. Please feel free to give us your own count and reasons for it………

So what have Steve´s actions done to our fangirl panties this week?

1. Veinp0rn (either neck or elsewhere):


FOYeur: Most of the vein-p0rn for this episode could only be seen from a distance – the best sighting we got, was this arm vein – I give it a 6 – for at least showing up to entertain us. 😀

LurxGirl I agree with the 6 for the vein but my tongue is giving him a 10 for that delicious bicep. Are my McPerv eyes playing tricks on me, or is that not a nipple I see trying to peek through his baby blue tee? *slurp*

FOYeur: It is true LG, for most of this episode the nips were teasing me as well. I even thought of adding a new category just to accommodate their constant effort to break through ……sigh…….

Average score for category 1: 6

2. Letting the eye brow(s) do the work:


 FOYeur: Well it seems that Danny’s revelation about one more of his fears gave us these nice prominent brow lifts. These brows tells a tale all on their own. I give it 9.

LurxGirl Eyebrow lift 10. I must admit it may be more about the nostril flare than about the eyebrows. His nose goes straight to my panties. 😳 I guess I’d better make sure I always have on fresh ones then. 😉

Average score for category 2: 9,5

3. Teasing us with the ‘pink beast’


FOYeur: This was a kind of unexpected sighting of the pink beast. Although it is always good to see it appear, it was not really delivered with a lot of sex appeal or seduction 😦 . I give it a 6

LurxGirl: This just looks strange to me. 😦 He looks like he’s testing the air temperature with it. But since it is attached to Steve’s hot mouth, *sigh* I give it a 5.

Average score for category 3: 5,5

4. Haunting us with ‘Dat FACE’ :


FOYeur: You can see this scene is done by an actor who is a handy-man in real life. Those screws in his mouth just adds a lot of realism to the situation – and boy oh boy, the face makes me want to hide in every box he might open, just to get a glimpse of it from this angle. 😛 – I give it 8

LurxGirl: OMcG! His eyelashes gleaming in the light, that stern jaw, his piercing eyes and all I can think is “SCREW ME STEVE!”
He is just too gorgeous for words! I give it a 10! Handy man Steve is a huge turn on! I’d like to see him nekkid with a tool belt. 😛

Average score for category 4: 9

5. Caressing the gun (may include trigger finger p0rn)


FOYeur: Most of the times when we see Steve handling his gun, it is with a lot more aggression. In this scene it is his light in a dark scary world that even his partner did not want to enter. The easy way he just holds it during this scene makes it seem as just an extension of himself – just tenderly holding it to be his light and to protect him – as usual I envy the gun  and give it 8.

LurxGirl: There are two inanimate objects I am envious of in this gif. His gun and his phone. He does usually have a tighter grip on his gun and his face is much more intense than this,and he looks a little nervous. I like him more BAMF with his gun, so I give it a 6.

Average score for category 5: 7

6. Doing the STRUT (modeling those pants 😛 ):


FOYeur: Work those hips babe…….for the way these hips get the badge and the gun swaying, I give it 9 😛

LurxGirl: God bless uneven surfaces so he has to really pick up those feet and swing those hips to keep from losing balance. Nice of the light to shine on the FOY. 🙂 I’d better move on to the next one before I go into some kind of trance. I give it a 9 also.

Average score for category 6: 9

7. Kicking down doors (or people or some other bad@ss move):


FOYeur: This was so totally bad-ass. – I give it 9

LurxGirl:  This really shouldn’t turn me on so much. 😛 That ” Don’t F*** with me,” face is HOT!! 10!!!!

Average score for category 7: 9,5

8. Mesmerizing us with that smile (sometimes even a laugh or just by being cute):


FOYeur: I watched and rewatched this episode a number  of time, just to see if I have missed a glimpse or a hint of a smile – but could not find anything. It is a bit sad that a Halloween episode did not produce one smile from Alex  Steve. So we had to settle for a cute face – I give it 7, because it was cute, but I felt it could be used better.

LurxGirl: He did touch his face before this, I think(?) and he gave that panty dropping stare for just a second, but I think they could have done much more with this too. I can’t wait for the gag reel! Boys DO NOT disappoint us fangirls! Since I’m a bit of a McDanno fan and the talk about the panties made me giggle a little more than you, I give it an 8

Average score for category 8: 7,5

9. Dishing out hugs (or other kinds of kindness or affection):


FOYeur: This was so well done. Turning a physical struggle and life-threatening moment into such a dear and heart warming gesture, even with his hands still around the person’s neck – in my books it gets 10

LurxGirl: I agree FOYeur! A 10 for sure! He really brought out the SEAL in Steve here. The pat on the shoulder did me in. *sigh*

Average score for category 9: 10

10. Doing something hot that you won’t find in every episode:


FOYeur: We have seen Steve kick down many doors, but this just took it to another level of hotness – 10 (because of door envy) 😛

LurxGirl: Good Lord, the leg spreading gif!! (THUD) He can swing my legs open like that anytime he wants. 😛
Look how tight those pants are… YUMM! 10+++

Average score for category 10: 10

Adding up all the averages of each category, we give this episode 83% on the Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter.

Although this episode was not as racy as it can be, it seems like at least a few fangirl panties got ruin this time around ….. 😛

Some extra treat from Paula, to remember this episode by………


FOYeur: It looks like Steve is on horseback, galloping into this raid (Paula, have I told you lately how much I love your good eye and gif-making skills) 😛

LurxGirl:  I never noticed the hop before. 😆 I love it! And we got some scrumptious ArmPorn , a nekkid trigger finger and a thigh holster!! I really want to feast on that bicep.
Thanks for including me in on the fun again! I love it here at AOL-IS and have so much respect for Paula’s artistic abilities and incredible amount of time you both put in to your posts. Even when RL doesn’t make it easy, you keep us entertained, and our fangirl hearts and panties thank you. 🙂 MWAH!!

Please feel free to give us your opinion of where you feel we got it right or wrong! 😀

And remember, this is just us, having some fun with our favorite man – it’s all about Steve! …….. 😛



Filed under Alex O´Loughlin, Beauty perfected, Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett

17 responses to “Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:06

  1. I’ll give the screw scene a big fat 10!!!
    In German we say: Eine Schraube locker haben (having a screw loose), if you are a little bit crazy. And I’m crazy about this gif, feeling like the rabbit caught in the headlights. These huge eyes, the nostrils of determination, the perfect shapes lips, these lashes, jawline, dimple PLUS being a handyman. I love men who always have the right tools ready… 😆


  2. Mari

    Love this idea! The screw scene definitely gets a 10! Thanks – as always – for the fun!


  3. The screws between his lips make this very ordinary scene so hot.


  4. Brenda

    1 – 6 Didn’t catch my attention
    2 – 10 Seriously so adorable
    3 – 10 The tongue no matter how subtle is freaking awesome
    4 – 6 Dirty screws in the mouth didn’t do it for me but love the lashes and close-up. OK 8 for the close-up.
    5 – 6 Using the gun as a flashlight, ehhh
    6 – 10 The strut is always a 10
    7 – 2 Because it scared me.
    8 – 20 Because I think this will end up being one of fav scenes that is most memorable ever.
    9 – 8 Hugs who doesn’t want an AOL hug.
    10 – 5 He has arrived but this was just ok for me

    Thanks girls, this was fun.


    • Thank you Brenda for participating 🙂
      It just shows you how different things “do” it for us all. Maybe because our fantasies and turn-on’s are found in different places 😛


  5. buttercup

    I loved the scene with the gun as a flashlight, it just does things to me (and i know it shouldn’t) when he handles his gun, maybe it’s the badassness or the “being in control” or the hot-bloodedness, it tingles me all around – IT SURE DOES!!!!!
    It’ just so frkn sexy! And ohhh, it’s so wrong i know! ( like danny said: gun’s kill people!!) i jist can’t HELP!!! 😉
    Thanks to all, foyeur, lurxgirl and paula for the great post!


    • I’m just the guest McPerv, but I love the opportunity to study this man more intensely. 😀
      Your appreciation for his hands is almost as wild as mine for his nose! I love it when he holds his gun with force and his forearms and biceps are flexed. But when he brushes his hand over his holstered weapon… (tee hee) …I really did mean his firearm, I get the quivers. 😛


  6. Thank you for these beautiful visuals – great picks, it all looks even better/hotter in the gifs than in the actual episode – and thanks for your funny/s3xy comments! You rock, girls! 😀


  7. AlexNymph

    1 – meh = 3
    2 – So cute! Been too long for such expressions. Channeling Jack? = 9
    3 – meh–looks like dry mouth, turn-off = 3
    4 – can’t see hair, face looks fat (= 3), but saved by the blink and eyelashes = 6 overall
    5 – gun/light as extension of arm (new X-man?) = 8
    6 – missing proper light on the subject = 7
    7 – tres BADASS, shattered the glass wit his powerful swipe! = 10
    8 – no smile (=0), but derp face is soooooooooo welcome = 8
    9 – shoulder pat FTW = 10
    10 – Oh yeah! What a move! = 10

    Extra gifs = asdfghjkl!!!

    Steve’s expressions and moves harken back to S1. H50 is doing well this year 🙂


  8. EU

    uhm….this is fun…..I don’t know if I can still participate but ….
    1- 5.sometimes this scenes happens so quickly that we don’t see them, but I agree I look over his pecs when he uses T shirts.
    2- 10! for me the best part of this episode. His eyebrowns and his nostrils…
    3- 8. I love the pink beast! and I liked this because it remains me tigers breathing and letting their pink beasts getting out instinctly….like a reflex!.
    4- 10! Handy Bad Ass man……drooling
    5- 4…..
    6-10!!! IMO, I think he walks that way because of the size and proportion of his FOY and he avoid to hurt it and just to imagine it………turns me on!!!
    7- 10!!! todo un macho caliente…uhmmmmm
    8-8….ironic Steve, piss Danno, lol!
    9- 8……the only thing I would change to make it a 10, it’s taking out that kid and putting myself in that position……perv, I know…
    10- 10!!!!wow! those are kilometric legs and with the sun reflecting it looks like if Steve is on a stage and begings an erotic dance.

    extragifts are the while seal we love and go crazy for!!!!


  9. #8 – Maybe McG was not amused that panties threw themselves at Danno’s hand. Little did pi$$y McG face know, there was a plane-full of panties landing at the airport ready to chase his fine self all over the islands!


  10. My fave is definitely number 6, the strut I love his walk +10!!!!


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