Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:01 (#AlexOLoughlin at his best)

We know Steve likes to race with cars and cars have speedometers – well, Steve gets our fangirl hearts racing and we have Steve-0r-gasm-o-meters.

We would like to introduce something new for this new season of Hawaii Five-0. We all perv about different things when it comes to Alex/Steve.

We want to take some of these moments during each episode and rate them according to how well we think they have been used to satisfy our needs to drool over this man ……… how hard has he been stepping on the pedals of our fangirl hearts? 😛

We will give you our thoughts and score on each category and find some sort of % for this episode. Please feel free to give us your own count and reasons for it ………

How hard have Steve´s actions been on the fangirl panties this week?

1. Veinp0rn (either neck or elsewhere):


FOYeur: Boy oh boy, these veins worked hard in this scene, I would give it a 10.

LurxGirl: This delicious vein porn brings out my inner vampire for sure! I wouldn’t be a proud McPerv if I didn’t mention that there is another type of veinporn I’d love to see. Yes, it’s a 10 for me too!

Average score for category 1: 10

2. Letting the eye brow(s) do the work:



FOYeur: Normally the eye brow works very prominently. This time the gesture was so small but somehow very visible to me. It and the whole situation made it über sexy for me, so I give it 8.

LurxGirl: I think the open mouth and sweat drenched shirt may play into the sexiness of the eyebrow raise. I give it a 7, because he still has his shirt on. 😛

Average score for category 2: 7,5

3. Teasing us with the ‘pink beast’ (Paula’s pet name for ‘the tongue’)


FOYeur: Ever so slightly he teased us with it this time. Although we don’t see much of it or any real movement with it, just the thought of its full potential, makes my heartbeat jump a few. Because of it´s cuteness, I would give it a 7.

LurxGirl: Again, the open mouth is so inviting! Makes me want to dive in and taste that pink beast. Would it taste like Puka dog or Kame’s shrimp? I give it a 6 just because he isn’t giving us the sex eyes with it. He is too distracted with his driving.

Average score for category 3: 6,5

4. Haunting us with ‘Dat FACE’ :


FOYeur: There are so much intensity in his pretty face during this scene. I don’t know if the bars add or subtract from it. I give it a 8.

LurxGirl: At first I thought .. meh .. then I thought about having jail sex with McG and yes…I think the bars frame his face well. I mean, look at that nose! I give it a 7.

Average score for category 4: 7,5

5. Caressing the gun (may include trigger finger p0rn)


FOYeur: A big feature of this episode, is the lack of Kevlar and of course the gloves with the naked trigger finger. There are so many scenes of him handling the gun, but him holding that gun with his bare hands and squeezing so tightly while shooting, ranks up there with the best. I give it 8.

LurxGirl: ACA! I give it a 9 I can’t stop looking at his strong shoulders!

Average score for category 5: 8,5

6. Doing the STRUT (modeling those pants 😛 ):


FOYeur: The strut will always score a perfect 10, but in this case I will subtract because I do not like the white pants view from behind. The shot is also done from to far away and that will take some more away from it. In my view a 7.

LurxGirl: I think they needed to get out the wide angle lens for the front shot! 😯 I’ve mentioned I dislike these pants from behind, but from the front….DAMN! I’m not sure what’s got the FOY so “worked up.” If it’s because he’s pissed off, I’d be all for some angry sex with McG! Strut 10, view 8.

Average score for category 6: 7,5

7. Kicking down doors (or people or some other bad@ss move):


FOYeur: To gain access to places, we have seen Steve use the boot quite often, but I must say this ranks up there as one of the best, because of the person and the situation. I give it 10.

LurxGirl: F*cking HOT! BAMF Steve’s hard body in motion is like watching porn, but knowing he’s jeopardizing his and his team’s futures to save his lady, warms my heart as much as it warms my lady parts. 😛 I wish they would have held the shot on his long legs and @ss a bit longer. I’m a greedy McPerv! :mrgreen: 10 for sure!

Average score for category 7: 10

8. Mesmerizing us with that smile (sometimes even a laugh or just by being cute):


FOYeur: This episode did not really have any smiles or laughs. At least we get half a one here, with some added adorable gestures. I would give it 8.

LurxGirl: I love his expression here! The huge bloody hand to the face is strangely hot! A bloody hand should not be a turn on! Call me what you want. 😛 9 because he is so adorable!

Average score for category 8: 8,5

9. Dishing out hugs (or other kinds of kindness or affection):


FOYeur: Although this scene warrants a perfect score when it comes to situation and intensity, I feel that there have been better hugs between these two. The one in 2:03 when Steve and Danny came back from their ordeal at sea comes to mind. I give this one 9.

LurxGirl: His arms and back and shoulders and hands and face…GUH! I give this a 10 because before the hug he grabs the back of her head and pulls her in soooo close. But I think it’s the same kind of hug he would have given Kono or even Danny in the same situation. Minus the kiss, of course. 🙂 I would love to have him bear hug me like this! I thought uncomfortable Danny was cute too.

Average score for category 9: 9.5

10. Doing something hot that you won’t find in every episode:


FOYeur: We can’t pass on the opportunity to talk about the BIG stick. Steve handling the out of control bird was certainly orgasmic. Together with the overly intense O-face gives it a 10 in my book!

LurxGirl: I hope he isn’t quite that intense with his own BIG stick! OMG those hands pulling and tugging…*shudder* I worry he’s going to blow a blood vessel with all that straining. The hands around the BIG stick are a 10, the face is an 8, so 9 for me.

Average score for category 10: 9,5

Adding up all the averages of each category, we give this episode 85% on the Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter.

I think it is fair to say, quite a number of panties boarded planes to Honolulu this week 😛

And just to let the pleasure last a little bit longer, Paula made us something extra to remember this episode by………


LurxGirl: Can I rate the last gif?! OMcG that is a 10++++++!!! His hooded lids, the slight nostril flare, the clenched jaw and perfect lips, and that thick, strong, glistening and mouth-watering neck have over stimulated the Steve-or-gasm-o-meter! You can almost see the pulse in his neck!

FOYeur: Pretty sure I see the pulse in that neck vein too …… sigh!

Please feel free to give us your opinion of where you feel we got it right or wrong! 😀

And always remember, this is just us, having some fun with our favorite “object of desire” …….. 😛

As you may have seen on the banner, we also want to send special birthday hugs today (Oct 4th), to Canadagirl66

Hope you enjoy all the Alex-pretty with us!!


Filed under Alex O´Loughlin, Beauty perfected, Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett

45 responses to “Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter: Episode 4:01 (#AlexOLoughlin at his best)

  1. Thanks for letting me “study” with you! Steve and orgasms are two of my favorite things, so I was all in! At first I thought, “Where is the shirtless scene?” Then I realized that scene would have severely skewed the results, because 10 wouldn’t be a high enough ranking! I hope added something to this already awesome post! Was I naughty enough?! Got to keep up my McPerv reputation! :mrgreen:
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY CG!! I hope McG and NotMcG do their best to make you extra happy on your special day!!


    • Anwyn

      Steve and orgasms! LOL, that is something that comes together. Fantastic post. TY.
      I prefer gif No 2, cause there he looks like he wants to have sex.


    • Let´s hope there will be episodes where your ovaries will be exploding for reals 😉
      This was a very good start for the Steve-o-gasm-o-meter posts!
      Great job you two 😀


      • He’s in shorts tonight and he’s being “adorable Uncle Steve” so my ovaries may get a jolt. I love his hairy legs! We should see him in shorts more often. It is Hawaii after all! Thank goodness he got rid of the over shirt! I want the white tank to make an appearance! His shoulders drive me crazy! I meant this to be a quick reply, but he just makes me ramble. 😀


  2. Karen

    I love #5 because we have a little of everything – the face, the squinting eyes, the arm vein porn and #8 b/c there isn’t anything sexier than a shy, McG smile!


  3. Marta

    This is a awesome post Girls! Steve-0r-gasm-0-meter is a very cool way to a McPerv recap the episodes. Foyeur and Lurxgirl made a excellent job on this 4.01 but the highlight of the episode was the shirtless scene. For a McPerv is unforgiven to not include it on this post.

    Happy birthday Canadagirl66! I wish you all the best.


    • I hear what you say. 🙂 The problem with the shirtless scene, is that it won’t be in every episode. It always get a 10 ++++++ in my book. If we go by last season, we will have to wait 20 more episodes before we are entertained with his glorious abs again 😦
      We had to choose types of occasions that will be in every episode. If the big stick was not here, I would have used it for no ten as an odd situation :grin:.


      • visage13

        It better not be 20 more episodes. Oh the horror!!! 😉 I too was disappointed you didn’t include the scene of the night but I understand your logic now. Carnot wait to see what tonight’s episode has in store for us.


      • Marta

        I understand your point of view. So when he offer us special treats like the shirtless scene you could add it at the end of the post, after the episode’s average score. When season 4 ends you can make a post with the special treats. Good idea or not?


      • visage13

        As it turns out FOYeur, we only had to wait until the 3rd episode and my goodness his arms are huge (muscular) in the sleeveless shirt in the beginning. Wow! This is going to be a very good season, I can feel it!!


        • buttercup

          I had to do a sneak peek after reading your comment! (Haven’t seen the new ep yet)
          Wow, wowie – (spoilers) shirtless and sleeveles in one ep! This season looks promising 🙂 !!!!
          I guess, someone was reading our comments this summer!


  4. vanduyn

    First, Happy Birthday Canadagirl66!!! Okay, that bottom gif rates off the chart! I love him like that! I would concur will all the others except the strut def gets a 10 from me. But I do love to watch him walk 😛


  5. AlexNymph

    I can’t open the gifs any more to comment (my internet is wired today), so here goes:

    #5 Steve with gun is always good, so never less than an 8.

    #6 The strut looks funny this time, like he’s got a wedgie or something. I give it a 5.

    #9 Steve needs some new moves, he has to quit hugging his girlfriend like she’s a little kid (hand on the head). He gets a 5. She, on the other hand is fantastic, totally believable and gets a 9.5. Go, Cath!

    Last gif–Steve is staying out of the sparks as a McPerv self-destructs.


    • That´s it. I always thought some of his hugs with Cath look odd, now that you mentioned it, it does look like he is hugging a kid 🙂 but I guess that moment with him being scared and worried for Cath couldn´t really end with a humping hug…
      I liked the plane strut from behind too. That a$$ filled out those pants for once, no drooping butt 😀 me likey mucho.


      • Anwyn

        It’s odd to me that they chose a woman like Michelle Borth and also Lauren German to play Alex’ co-stars. They are extremely thin and petit and always make Alex look so huge. He is a tall hunk, but he is not that huge. Anyway, it never looked that odd with Beth and Mick. I never understood why it should be beautiful if a woman looks physically like a child and performs with someone like Alex. I think that is weird.


    • canadagirl66

      Maybe holding the back of her head has become a habit for Steve. 😛


  6. Happy bday Canadagirl66 ! This post is so entertaining I didn’t want it to end. 2 things stood out to me, pun intended, Steve’s sexy veins, & I agree
    his hugs w/Cath need to be more about those insanely hot arms of his, and
    don’t forget the beautiful big hands and those long fingers, he needs to put all to work when he hugs her….I’m blabbering like a crazed woman cuz that’s what he reduces me to lol


    • Steve needs to hug Cath like this: sliding his hands down her back (think Shield chair) and with neck vein throbbing and smelling her hair (channeling Mick of course) 😀
      Oh and pants straining those buttons to their limit (and beyond).


      • You are trying to kill me Paula! I’m thinking about how Jack held Pearl when she straddled him on the dock. I would have stayed on top and let him get splinters in his bum. Then I’d pull them out with my teeth. And you aren’t playing fair bringing up Mick sniffing. 👿


      • Let’s face it, we want to see Steve/Cath duplicate the chair scene and the dock scene in OF and the shower scene minus the clothes in ML…. CBS could give us so much more than they do!!


        • CBS is too old fashioned for Alex, if only he had a deal with FOX…


          • Anwyn

            HBO!!! They would force him to show all he has more often than he would want to.
            BTW: The more we talk about Steve and Cath finally getting their act together the less it impresses me. I mean, there is chemistry, yes, but it’s more of brother and sister chemistry than anything else. They held their relationship on a level where it had time to get flat. I remember 2 (two!!) scenes, when there was something like sizzling romance. That was the bed scene in the beginning, when they woke nose to nose and the phone rang, and probably on the beach while grilling those steaks. Just the fact that I don’t recall much else as erotic speaks for itself. This is, of course, my opinion. And I think it’s a shame cause the man alone is sex on legs.


            • We definitely need them in the sack epi 105 style (and more). They need to do some role playing and get their romance blooming again. I´m sure they can do it, with PLenkov willing. They are young and fertile, let them populate the island 😉


              • Anwyn

                Hm, I think that’s the crucial point. But do we want our Commander in the hands of one woman? Populate the island being fertile is what he can do in his private life (we can’t do anything about this anyway:-), but actually I don’t want him to do this in Hawai five/o. Hell, usually it’s the end of the movie when the two get each other and live happily ever after. She already has been kidnapped, how can you top this? Well, a good sex scene would help. LOL
                BTW I am not watching Hawai 5/O for the plot. If they had Steve alone walking, talking, smiling, doing his Rambo thing, I’d be satisfied.


              • buttercup

                I need the craving in his eyes (for her) like the bench scene in the beginning of season2 (Paula did a post, wonderful 😉 ) We def need some more eyesexing, maybe Billy makes Steve jealous, he’s a spoiled brat with this Girl, always had her! I’m looking forward to it!
                I guess there’s not much hope for the chair stuff, it’s a cop show, and the Cath-haters are “screaming” already!
                I don’t get it, I love the show because Alex rocks! (and of course everybody else but Alex is the main stuff 😉 )
                And I don’t see the riot about Kono, let her stay in the back for a few ep, have her baby (if?), get some privacy and then she can come back!
                I love to PERV and not to complain!


                • Anwyn

                  If this was addressed to me, I wasn’t complaining, just hoping:-)
                  But you’re right about the craving in his eyes. That would definitely improve things and a bit of jealousy too. May be I have missed it, but I haven’t seen the craving in a long time. It’s also not about hating anybody, I think Cath is a fabulous actress, but she makes Steve look big and even clumsy sometimes which he is not, of course. I don’t know if it’s the chemistry cocktail of the two, or if Steve resp Alex is holding back a little. I will shot up for ever if I get to see this eyesexing, reckless man again. Just my humble opion…


                  • buttercup

                    I agree with you entirely and I didn’t think you “complained”! I’m with you – as soon as it’s all “happily ever after” the “fun and tinggling” is over! And we don’t want that, do we! So I guess, with some complication in their relationsship it’s fun! (GO Billy!)
                    I think their kiss wasn’t all that passionate, why? Is he (like you said) restraining! Maybe it’s the producers order how to do things 😉 !!!
                    I hope- you didn’t feel offended (and I def don’t take you as a Cath-H!)
                    So – I hope, we’re cool!


                    • Anwyn

                      Definitely cool, I did not forget that this is all about fun:-)) And a lot of it we have, thanks to you all.


    • You want him to use his hands like he did on the couch last Halloween? On Cath I mean. 😆
      I would love this hug if he rescued me, but the hug I’d want later at home, when he realizes he almost lost me, is the handsy version for sure. More groping than hugging really. 🙂


  7. lunaterra12

    1st> Happy Birthday Canadagirl66! Hope you are having a great day!
    2nd> I’ll need to study this many times over!


  8. Happy Birthday CanadaGirl!!! Wow, look at that lovely banner made just for you!!!—Hairy pecs and treasure trail abs……….Have an extra HOTTTT McBirthday!


  9. marnov2205

    Very happy b-day to Canadagirl!! And many thanks to FOYeur + LG for this wonderful new feature, I LOVE it!! I think your O-meter does this episode justice, I’d get about the same results (not that I gave it any thought or anything, not me…) 😀 .


  10. buttercup

    Wow, I finally got the time to read all through this post! Wonderful – you guys are amazing! Thanks Lurxgirl and FOYeur!
    So much work and so much love in it! And so much McPerving form everybody, “one’s gotta love this place”!!! (Well, I certainly do 😆 )
    I also wanted to say Happy-Birthday to CG! I always love your comments, keep on doing it, yes yes yes 😎 !
    Love the veinpOrn, love the humorous discussion with Danny, love the “bad@aa-strike-down-Groover-move” and I love his face behind that pillar, the glow, yummy!


  11. canadagirl66

    OH.MY.GOD.HOW.DID.I.MISS.THIS. I know that I was in Alex overload for a few days but missing this post and all the wonderful birthday wishes is inexcusable!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you…for all the birthday greetings and to FOYeur and lurxgirl for such a fantastic job. You do my McPerv heart proud!!!
    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the banner. You are so good to me!!! How did you know that for me, that pic of the happy trail is the most erotic pic taken of him and destroys my panties every single time?!!
    SO looking forward to your next Steve-Or-gasm-O-meter post. I promise I’ll be conscious so as not to miss it. I can’t promise I’ll be conscious afterwards though. 🙂


    • I assumed you went offline to party 🙂 hope you enjoyed your day nevertheless… That happytrail is a favorite of mine too, good to hear it was spot on 😀


  12. Ontlls

    Happy Belated Birthday Canadagirl66 – sorry I missed it.
    Yep, it’s me, I am back, I was gone for a bit, and missed a whole bunch of Stuff, actually not true, it’s Baseball playoffs, and LA Dodgers are one of my favorite teams.
    I have seen all the H50 shows and everything else. Just no time to comment.
    Um. “The 2. Letting the eye brow(s) do the work:” – Perfect 10 for me! I love that eyebrow, his interview in ET, and the eyebrow porn in that thing DANG!!
    Love this little meter rating. FOYuer and LurxGirl together again. I was wondering how long it was gonna be.
    As for the Last Gif, I totally agree, no grade on that one, that is just WOW!!


  13. Loved this eppy…and loved all the gifs, especially that last one! Wohoohoo! I’m really late but gotta say thanks as always to Intense for a great site, pics and McGifs. 🙂


  14. Rosemary

    You go girls! The banner is breathtaking and the ratings spot on. Lucky Canada girl!


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